Jennie Sjursen 0:00
My child is so hard on themselves. They never give themselves a break. How can I help them to find a way to give themselves grace? I'm Jenny Sjursen, ex special educator turned dyslexia interventionist. It wasn't so long ago that I too, was overwhelmed by balanced literacy versus structured literacy, education speak, and everything in between. Fast forward after many, many hours of self driven education. And you'll see I've built a thriving dyslexia practice helping students from ages six to 18. My specialties, working with, quote unquote difficult almost always to the student, and breaking down the complexities of dyslexic to everyday language strategies and action steps.
Jennie Sjursen 0:48
This was not what I was originally going to talk about this week. But recently, I was out of the office for a family matter. During those two weeks, I constantly had to keep reminding myself to give myself some grace I had and still do a to do list a mile long to prep for our upcoming navigating dyslexia masterclass, and the opening of our untangling dyslexia course, I also had to reports to write emails to get back to one on one sessions to plan and some research to do. And that doesn't even touch on the stuff around the house, I have to tackle just a list a mile long.
Jennie Sjursen 1:27
But I also do that during those two weeks, my primary focus had to be on my family, even while knowing this. I'm not very good. Okay, horrible at giving myself grace. I've struggled my whole life with that little voice, the voice that says, Well, you should have I can't believe you did it. Come on, Jenny, girl, all you do run is waste some time. And it goes on. And a lot of myself talk is a side effect of my ADHD. Like many women, my age, I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. I had years and years of not understanding why I couldn't be on top of things like others. Since my diagnosis, I've been working on understanding when my ADHD is working against me, trying to quiet the negative self talk and give myself grace.
Jennie Sjursen 2:21
I spent a lot of those two weeks out of the office silent repeating to myself, so Okay, give yourself grace. Every time the shadows reared up in my head. And through it all I thought about my students, finding and giving themselves grace is something they struggle with every single day. So what are some of the ways we can help the Dyslexics in our lives find and give themselves grace? So I thought about it and I came up with seven different ways we can help them first, and in my mind, one of the most important is educate your child about dyslexia. Reinforce that there is nothing wrong with them.
Jennie Sjursen 3:00
And they are not dumb. I cannot tell you how many times I hear Dyslexics tell me they're dumb or stupid. They are not. Dyslexia is just a different way of thinking. In fact, it wasn't even a social issue until the printing press came along. Getting my ADHD diagnosis and understanding it was a relief. So many things fell into place. And because I now understood my brain better, I could begin finding ways to work more effectively in my own life. Sometimes the ability to hyperfocus is your friend. But I was also mad, mad that I didn't find out until I was an adult, and feeling like so much time had been wasted. I wished I had found out when I was younger, and couldn't help but think what could I have accomplished if only I had no knowing there is nothing wrong with them that they are not dumb or stupid.
Jennie Sjursen 3:55
Their brain just works differently is something every dyslexic needs to hear. They need to have an understanding of how their brain works. Second, keep a line of communication open with your child. Encourage them to talk about their struggles and feelings and reinforce that you are there to support them. Third, focus on their strengths, not their weaknesses. This might sound odd to some Yes, of course find ways to help them learn to read and communicate. But your child is more than their dyslexia. Highlight their strengths, find ways for them to take part in the activities that they love and are really good at and point out the ways that you can do something you can't or even better than you can.
Jennie Sjursen 4:43
Fourth, set realistic expectations. This is a hard one. People are constantly comparing themselves to others. And when a kid is sitting in class and is really struggling with Grade Level Reading and Writing. It's really hard not to compare themselves to the others. Kids in their class, this one is going to take constant reinforcement, but also periodically circle back to where they were a year ago, or where they started. Most of us forget how much progress we've made until we take a moment to look back. Fifth, don't just focus on the results, or grades, focus on and praise the effort. When working with a new student, I frequently tell them
Jennie Sjursen 5:27
I don't care if they get it right or wrong. As long as they try. It's more important to me to give them a safe place to make the mistakes while still putting the effort into moving forward. Which brings me to six normalise mistakes. Mistakes are just part of the learning process. Everyone makes mistakes. One of my students is really into hockey and is very good at it. Every now and then I point out he had to put the work in and practice in lots of practice to get as good as he is. Now in hockey. I point out that to get to where he is now. He made a ton of mistakes along the way.
Jennie Sjursen 6:07
And that reading is the same thing. Mistakes are going to be made. Just keep moving forward. And finally, seven, model self compassion. Share with your child ways you're giving yourself empathy and grace. Let them know it's okay to be kind to yourself, especially when you're going through something challenging. Finding ways to give yourself grace can be so difficult, but really important, especially for the neurodivergent kids in our lives. If you have any further questions about dyslexia, or ways to support your child, please feel free to sneak into my inbox. I'd also love your input.
Jennie Sjursen 6:46
What would you like to hear from me in the future? Is there a topic that haven't covered yet? You really want to learn more about or do you have a pressing need and you're really not sure how to handle it or move forward? Send me a DM on Instagram or drop me an email at Jennie at literacy untangle.com That's J E N N ie at literacy untangle.com I can't wait to hear from you. Until next time, bye bye.
Jennie Sjursen 7:12
I hope you enjoyed this episode of literacy untangled if you love this episode as much as I did, head on over and rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. If you want to continue the conversation or share your takeaways, head on over to our Instagram at literacy untangled and comment on your favourite part. I can't wait to hang out with you again soon. Bye
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
